In 2012, I came to Colorado to be close to family (mom and sister). Being that my mom was in her 70’s and my sister was in her late 40’s I assumed that there would have been a certain growth in maturity by this time. I was completely wrong.
I rented a room in my sister’s enormous house until I could find an apartment. We agreed to this prior to my renting. I paid a nice price for renting a room. I never missed a payment.
At this time, she was dating a nice guy whose wife had died from cancer. She kept dating him but she would tell me behind his back that she was going to break up with him. She did this for months but could not seem to break it off. I really did not care whether she dated him or not, but I thought he was a very nice guy. She was concerned about his financial status after paying thousands of dollars for his wife’s recovery.
She decided to sell her house since it was more than she needed after her divorce from her husband of 27 years. She bought a smaller house. By this time, I had found an apartment, was working full-time and my mom was living with me. My sister had expressed the fact that she was “tired of having mom live with her and was looking forward to someone else taking care of her.” That made me somewhat sad because my mom was regularly the live-in babysitter for her. My sister had a late-in-life baby and the sweetie was in elementary school when my mom lived with my sister.
I spent my every spare moment helping my sister pack up the old house, paint the new house and move her personal belongings into storage (which took up an entire semi-truck). There was a lapse in time (three months) before she could move into her new place and she had no place to live with her two children. I told her she could stay in my apartment even though it would be highly overcrowded. She set up an air mattress on the floor which took up the entire living area. Our apartment was crowded! She then took a turn for severe depression and spent most of her time laying on the living room floor. No complaints from mom or I. She gave a rent amount equal to what I gave her while I was in her home.
When it came time to move, she was very inadequate in the help that she had secured for the move in comparison to the amount of belongs that needed moved. She was trying to save money on the move. It was extremely taxing on everyone involved and exhausted us mentally and physically. Even the burly men said they had never seen a move quite like that. Her payment for their help was a bottle of liquor.
Summer nights on my patio, I had to listen to sis and mom talk disrespectfully about other family members. These family members know who they are and have had various abuse issues by my mother in the past. Please note that my mother fits all the characteristics of a narc and, if she dislikes you, she will smear your name all over kingdom-come. She is ruthless in making up stories in her mind and gossiping to others like they are truth when they are not. Much of this stems from her own insecurities. She has spent years in therapy, would not act upon the therapists suggestions, and then wonder why her relationship with me (and others) are so troubled.
I enjoyed this time with my nieces, but was concerned about my sister’s mental health. I was also worn out from working so hard getting her new home ready.
In August of that same year, I met a wonderful man online who is now my wonderful husband. He has been very supportive of my endeavors career-wise, spiritually, and in my growth as a person. He is very gentle-natured. Sis and mom decided they did not like him and made him their next target of their hatred. Behind my back, they were conspiring to see us part ways. It took me awhile to realize what was going on, but when I did, I put a stop to it immediately. By this time, my sister had moved into her own home with her girls and it was mom and I living in the apartment. My first observation that they were trying to interfere was when Brian came to my apartment for the first time after talking online for 1.5 months. The evening he was to show for our first date, my sister showed up with her kids at my apartment, then her ex-husband showed up, my mom was there and it turned into a freaking family party. He felt quite overwhelmed by all of this and we left to have dinner at a local restaurant. At the time, I did not think much of the intrusion. After all, family is family, right?